Tag: Travel

Fifty Shades of Reflexology

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It smells like jasmine. Hmm…. Incense, maybe. I’m sucking on my lower lip as I look at the place I find myself in, and while I toy around with new captions for my latest post on Instagram. It’s been so long since the last time, and I’m ready to treat myself–time for some reflexology in this quaint little massage den on a no-name backstreet in the downtown backpacking section of Kuala Lumpur.

“Miss… We are ready for you…” She bodes my forward with a beckoning wave of her wrist and I approach with just a hint of trepidation. She indicates my cabin in a row of about ten enclaves, a square bracket pressed along the wall in a space that’s rather narrow but possesses a certain depth perpendicular to the street.

It’s a simple setup, really, a rather solid cushion covered in basic cotton bed sheets, with tall and simple dark stained wood that support white canvas curtain panels that could completely enclose this six by six area. She motions for me to lie down, and I do as I am bid, leaving my new golden havaiana flip flops at the entrance and settling into my niche, looking up at the ceiling, listening to the East Asian relaxation music, watching the muted Asian soap opera with subtitles in Mandarin Chinese and, gracefully, English, and aware of the soft overhead lighting that casts rouge shadows along the drapery.

“You wash feet now…” My mistress masseuse, Mariam, brings a wooden bucket lined with plastic and filled with a soup of hot steer and brown herbs. I gingerly put my feet inside and bring my hands towards my ankles to scrub, but she tells me she will take care of it. Oh my…

She rolls up my pant leg over my well-endowed calves and splashes water over my feet, warming them up. Shortly thereafter she lifts my feet and curls my legs up to dry the, with a soft terry towel.

She steps atop the cushion with her 100 pound frame, and comes behind me. Goodness, would now be a good time to mention I’m here for the reflexology and not a Thai massage? I’m silent and go with it. I feel the full weight of her body through her elbow that sings alongside my shoulder, pressing into the nook between my neck and shoulder blade, pressing into the hard flesh that comes from horrible computer posture and the weight of a forty pound backpack that has seen its way across international borders yesterday. My face contorts to register the pain… But also pleasure at the same time. I grimace against it and when I can take no more I ask her, “lighter please?”

She acknowledges me but the pressure does not seem to change. I switch tactics–” you are very strong!” She tells me that sometimes if she doesn’t press hard enough, then I won’t feel it. Well, I can’t imagine that.

I’m familiar with this pressure on my back and then she is squatting behind me, pressing her curled knees over mine and looping her arms through my elbows, pulling me back until I hear my vertebrae snap! She pulls again, this time to the left, twisting me to snap, and lightly (for lack of a better word) beating me three times in succession along my rib cage. And she repeats it to the right, all the while I hear snapping of bones and ligaments that I was never so aware of. She is making me her bitch, right here in the rather nondescript cabin of pain.

“Ok, you lay down now.” I do as I’m told with my feet dangling just over the precipice and she has me slide back further, fully reclining on my mattress. I breathe a sigh of relief, thinking that perhaps the worst is over?

Yeah right, my subconscious is snide, did you really think you were going to be let off the hook that easily? I quiet this part of my brain–it’s consensual after all, I chose to be here, and I chose to pay the equivalent of 11.11 for this service–they’ve made the bed, and now I will lie in it. I get over it quickly.

Mariam starts. She warms up an oil in her palms and gets to work. What I thought was rough was just an appetizer before my main course. She begins be enveloping her fingers around my toes, and punishing my piggies with deft pulling action, popping my knuckles from each socket. Why would she do such a thing?! She moves on and starts to press the full force of her brunt fingers into the pad of each toe–ok, well this actually feels kind of nice. She moves on to the rest of my foot and despite the odd pressure point (which, they say is linked to all of our inner organs–they say), it’s fairly uneventful. And then she finds it, she finds my achilles heel, which coincidentally is not my heel at all, instead it’s the spot right between the interior bony joint of my ankle that begins just above my instep and the narrow triangle bone of my ankle. And she begins to press, finger and palms squeezing the life out of my legs, and I surrender to the pain. Actually, my face contorts and I curse under my breath, with Mariam behind the solid white curtain, our faces can’t be seen or registered by one another. She presses more, going higher and higher all the way up to meaty calves, and I wonder if with all this pressing, if she is actually managing to tear all the flesh from it’s anchor inside me, and when will she slake her thirst for my blood and muscles? Oh, such sweet pain… Oh, Mariam!

She lazily knocks my legs, I guess to beat some circulation back into the parts that she has just ravaged, and begins to work on the other. In the interim, she covers my leg with a warm wet towel, heavenly as my leg has started to freeze while she’s worked on it–I suspect mentholated oils–and it’s a nice respite for my right side.

And then the process begins all over again, on the left, and oh lord! She kneads me, I need this–my poor feet, my only mode of transportation carrying me through these exotic lands, carrying me far and away…. I break character as she’s shifted position and can see my teeth clenching and my eyeballs popping out of my socket. We have a good laugh.

And then I feel we’ve nearly reached the end when her warm hands release from my feet and ankles, which are now completely frozen, icy blocks from what I can only guess is peppermint oil. And yet I want more. I am not disappointed as she starts to contort my legs, climbing up in the bed with me, pushing my legs into an angry ballet fifth position and further, using her entire body weight to turn my leg out from the hips, knees and ankles. And when that is finished, she turns it inward the other way. We are nearly finished when she starts to squeeze my thighs, on the inside and above the knee, and I start to laugh at the odd placement of pressure. The cash register is tickled and signals its release with a squealing electric Morse Code rhythm, clashing with the background music, marking the end of our journey And moments later, with no real flourish, “finish”.

I take a minute to stretch my arms over my head, and am vaguely aware that any remnants of pressure on my neck and shoulders are no longer present, and my arms are relaxed. Lithe. Jello. I think the same about my legs, alternately pointing and flexing my toes.

Sitting up, I have a much clearer view of the room, this shy little den of physical pleasures. It is here, in this house of massage, that I’ve had my physical strength restored to me, and where I first channeled my inspiration for this Fifty Shades parody that you are reading right now, and when my palm began to twitch for want of a keyboard. Dear reader, I hope you’ve enjoyed my pain as much as I have.

My love affair with long haul flights

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There’s not much else to do at 4 am in Singapore when your body’s own circadian rhythm is still half a world away, and since I’m a little embarrassed that my last post was over a week ago I think this is the time to get crackin’.

Alas, this is the major drawback on long haul flights, the jet lag that comes with it and in my case I’m crossing thirteen time zones. And here’s a fun fact for you: “they” say that you need one day to adjust for every hour time zone that you cross. Too lazy to verify who the “they” are in this case but just keep that in mind for whenever you’re traveling overseas or even coast to coast.

So why do I love long haul flights? Part of it as with anything is the anticipation of it all, whether you’re new at it or a seasoned vet in this type of travel, I think it’s still exciting to experience the “time travel” effect, lie starting your journey on a Monday and arriving on a Wednesday (or Thursday!) and yet maybe you’ve only been traveling for a little over 24 hours on a technicality, but that’s before you factor in the door-to-door hours of getting to and from the airport. Science. Outstanding.

I also love the airport experience itself–in the interest of keeping it short and sweet, since I could go on and on about my most favorite and least favorite airports as if they were old college buddies of mine, let me generalize here.

I love that in the airport microcosm you can see such a variety of “social classes” and international people, all in one sealed dome as it were, traveling to parts unknown. Especially when traveling solo I sometimes imagine long and elaborate back stories for everyone around me in the security line. There are older people and younger people, whole families with some teenagers who are absolutely miserable to be up and alive at 6 am (I don’t blame them at all), and the families with the mom and the five children that all seem to be under the age of two traveling with a caravan of toys while the dad is conspicuously out of the line and “getting information/a coffee/the hell away from his screaming spawn”–and I secretly pray they are not on my plane though it often backfires such that they are sitting next to or behind me. I love watching people unload everything in their bag to comply with all of the TSA rules (preferably from the vantage point of a distinct line). I look at all the men in suits and wonder whether they are just starting out or they are the CEO of their company, then I look at all the slobs in pajamas and carrying pillows from home–no offense to you slobs but you’re not fooling me, I know you’re American and I also know that the pillow you’re bringing is completely unnecessary for where you are going 😉

I love standing in front of the departure and arrivals board as I confirm my gate but also sneak a peek at all the other destinations and flights today, and I don’t think I’m the only one to do so but I always roll around the crazy idea in my head, of what if I went back and changed my ticket and just decided to fly to a different place with some different feels?

Whenever I am being dropped at the airport my eyes are usually still glued shut from sleep, so I look forward to splashing some water on my face and putting on a little makeup in case it turns out I’m seated next to my soulmate (…or just someone decently cute… More on that some other time). Whenever I do this it brings back memories of getting ready on the go when I was younger.

Overpriced though it may be, I love having breakfast or some meal at he airport, usually I’m not standing around in a food court somewhere and with the exception of the flight crew and regular travel commuters, virtually everyone in the court is inexperienced with the food chains and brands in front of them, which also makes Starbucks a doubly attractive option. But I like to pick and choose, cross the terminal and take my damn sweet time. If you’re already there and waiting an hour or so before you can even board the plane, what’s the rush?

Like Starbucks, book stores and other concession stands become more attractive too. Even with a kindle or iPad loaded with books, I have to agree with the old school people out there that the patine of a book, the smell and texture of pages, ink and binding, is a much more enjoyable reading experience, and I love looking at all the glossy covers and front pages of books and magazines on the racks. What about the increasingly popular Best Buy electronics kiosks, for those who left something at home or just want to make an impulse purchase?

We’ve spent enough time in the airport and the flight attendants start to call you by boarding groups. I have a Pavlovian response to the sound of the scanner as it beeps twice before my ticket is handed back to me, and then it’s walking through a tunnel with often clever advertising making one last effort to reach you, dear solo traveler, honeymooner, family or business man, to alert you to the myriad of global possibilities with whatever company or whichever airline you’re flying, one last fleeting moment of excitement before you’re ready to sit in your sardine can for some 14 hours.

Sardine can?! I think you mean cozy little nest. Ok so just because I have weirdly (sadly) short legs and am otherwise fairly compact, the seat size doesn’t really bother me that much. If you are, however, at least of normal height and build, I can see how you would feel cramped, to which I offer my lay mans recommendation, same as for nervous flyers–take some Benadryl and call me in the morning (or when you land, ha!)

But seriously, in this world where we are all WAY TOO CONNECTED for comfort (and even I’m struggling with it and yet trying to make a go with the whole blogging thing…), it’s kind of nice to have the option of some 100 or so movies or tv shows, flight magazines, your own entertainment and nothing more. You willingly give those 14 hours (more or less) and just go with it, knowing that you will be half a world away–half a planetary body–I’m less than one full days time. Incredible isn’t it?

And still, were missing the food. OH, THE FOOD. I will not lie to you that economy tickets will receive delicious gourmet meals, but I will tell you that, like cheating on your diet with some fast food, it feels good every once in a while to take a walk on the bad side. It’s kind of a surprise, whatever it is you’ll be eating, but it’s always hot and usually includes some kind of dessert (score). Compared to domestic flights in the US where you’re lucky if you find a rogue peanut (on the floor), it’s nice to know that at least you don’t have to worry about being hungry. Pro tip–you could always get some goodies before you fly. Calories don’t exist above 30,000 feet cruising altitude. Also, for $18 for a flight, I’m pretty happy with the meals, thank you very much.

And when all is said and done, even if you don’t sleep well on flights normally, by sheer consequence of time, at some point you will drift into a nap, maybe for an hour or two or maybe enough to span a continent or ocean, and when you do I wish you a deep sleep and pleasant dreams. You, with your head quite literally in the clouds.

Just wake me up when the beverage cart is coming through the aisle.

5 Things that I’ve Missed About the USA

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I know I’m leaving in 11 days, and if you’ve been following me here or through a combo of my social media sites (and if you’re not, check out that little bar to the left…!), well then you also know that I’m leaving. So I understand the eyebrow raise when I talk about things that I have missed about the USA (as in, past tense; not “will miss”).

As I’m preparing to leave, I can’t help but compare the wealth of modern conveniences and (generally high) levels of customer service and satisfaction in the USA versus Mexico, where I was living for the bulk of the last 3 years and change. In, fact I’ve been so busy over the past few days seeing, doing, running, purchasing, booking, researching, and lots of other “ing”‘s, including reflecting (and obviously excluding writing), of my good fortune in this country. Also, disclaimer here, the things that I missed are specific to leaving Mexico for the US, as I know that each country in the world has its own unique pros & cons that stack up against your own homeland, wherever that may be.

Two other reinforcing incidents inspired me to write this article, written from my perspective as an expat and not a traveler heading overseas on quick and casual jaunts (wiki link included since this phrase is not all that common in the US). Reinforcing incident number ONE: Someone in a community Facebook page near me posed the question, and I’m paraphrasing here, which Caribbean island to retire to? The second incident was this morning when, after having taken the first dose of a live oral typhoid vaccine less than 24 hours ago, I was moaning in the fetal position with stomach pains.

The first incident–that question to the world–swiftly showed me that I am, in fact, a real DEBBIE DOWNER (wa, wa, waaaaa)). Thinking that it was a serious question to the world, and trying to kick aside all the “Aruba has the best beaches”/”Yeah but St. Maarten is so much fun”/”I really like the fruit juices in the Bahamas”/”Cozumel has great snorkeling” comments, I did my duties as a good citizen and good neighbor and informed my curious

comrade that, in fact, there’s an awful lot to consider with such a move, issues with banking, health care, insurance, distance from friends and family, safety, not to mention an isolation factor that far too many people tend to shrug off.

Say hello to your new BFF

Say hello to your new BFF! xoxo

And the second incident? The one where I looked like this…?

Sick and/or hungover. PS Do yourself a favor and don't do a "The Ring" google image search. Just. Don't.

Sick and/or hungover. PS Do yourself a favor and don’t do a “The Ring” google image search. Just. Don’t.

I had been questioning myself for a minute as to whether or not I was dashing all the children’s dreams of tropical paradise to pieces. But after getting sick, even though it was something mild, and even though I haven’t experienced particularly inferior medical care in foreign countries, I at least like knowing that I have access to educated doctors (I hope) and that I am protected by high healthcare standards in the US and in other Western nations, so I suppose. Note: Florida does not count, people seem to get away with everything there. I knew that my soapbox speech to the group about retiring overseas, at least when it comes chasing the “tropical dream”, was realistic and an honest cautionary tale, to go into such a decision with eyes wide open, whereas “Sand. Beach. Pretty. Snorkeling.” is not looking at the whole picture.

this-cat-is-a-professor-your-argument-is-invalid-thumb

Please don’t despair if you, too, are/were a US expat who spent any length of time in Mexico and you think my list is incomplete–well, I agree with you, and decided to restrict myself to 5 to avoid an endless rant ;). And as soon as she goes public to the world I’ll be introducing a blogging buddy who is living the struggle still, out there in the Yucatan. Without further ado, 5 things that I’ve missed about the USA (from when I lived in Mexico):

  1. Easy Banking. In the US, you can do drive-through banking, banking online (in English and Spanish, thank you very much), you can check your statement history in detail usually for somewhere between months ago, you can have checks issued to you in your name (so, you can pay rent or other goodies with these!), banking hours often include “late” hours, with some banks or branches open until 6 pm and with weekend hours, and lots of other goodies. Most of these transactions take place within a matter of MINUTES. I’ve seen steam come out of my mother’s ears when there’s more than a 10 minute delay. In Mexico, on the other hand, when you come in, you better bring your thickest piece of reading, because you ain’t gettin’ outta there in less than 30 minutes. Bonus points if your transaction requires two or more days returning to the bank, or an hour and a half (whichever comes last).
  2. Ready to eat fruits & veggies; drinkable water. For some relatively straight forward reasons (basically the drinking water table mixing with the poo water table, + E. Coli somewhere in there), you can’t, or reeeeally shouldn’t drink water unless it has been filtered, as it usually is in most of the large and international hotels throughout the country of Mexico, and fruit & vegetables needs to be cooked/boiled/sanitized in an iodine bath, especially if it’s something that can’t be peeled (e.g., strawberries, lettuce, grapes, etc.). I like being able to pick fruit in the Northeast Summer and eat it right there in the field, and to not worry as to whether or not I soaked a piece first. While I think that Mexico has a delicious variety of tropical fruits, it wasn’t always convenient to eat it. So you win some, you lose some.
  3. MAIL. This is something so basic, so ubiquitous in the world we live in, that surely you must think I am kidding. Surely I am not. Whereas perhaps you can receive postcards in Papua New Guinea, and boxes in Burkina Faso, good luck Sr. Chuck when it comes to mail in Mexico. I don’t really have pen pals (does anyone, nowadays?), but it would be really nice to be able to receive a care package… or even an online purchase. Your shipments are not safe whether they are entering, exiting, or even traveling within Mexico, and how do I know this? By trusting all of my Mexican friends who’ve shared with me their own horror stories about parcels and pieces disappearing forever. Furthermore, the concept of an address is a little foreign, too, and I never got the gist of identifying where I lived in at least four or more address lines – a lote (lot), manzana (block), supermanzana (???), and so on and so forth. Google Maps people, if you’re listening, please make an adjustment to your product in Mexico because even the locals don’t know how to identify or write their own address…!
  4. Marshalls, Target, and return policies. It’s hard to leave your favorites behind. Between these two stores, I could (probably) do without all others. I’m so NOT a mall shopper, but in Mexico the shopping options include malls (and the stores that populate them), or free-standing boutiques. For the average wages in Mexico, the price/quality value was shocking to me, and me being a pretty well-paid girl. Not only that, but I would wind up never buying anything because “return” is a foreign word (as it is in most countries that are not the US, I’ve learned). It’s not so good for MY pocket, because return policies make me feel like it’s ok to actually spend more, but I feel like I’m empowered to do so, whereas with no return policy I have to rely on my first impression alone, without being able to see a garment/electronic/piece of furniture/whatever outside of the showroom. I tried to return a shirt once to a Mexican department store, picking it out amongst other bias-cut slop designs in the department, only to later reconsider its $55 USD equivalent price tag. Three days later, I was told that I had to file a return request, that the store was not capable of dispensing cash back as a return without a 24 hour notice period, but that this was the first step in the process. I could go on about that one time, but you get the idea.
  5. Drivable roads and plausible parking lots. Compared to some places within the city of Cancun (and that goes double, triple for Puerto Vallarta), driving in the US has been a luxurious experience. Here highways are marked with directional information and the government takes care of things like potholes and weather conditions that effect driving (e.g., snow), whereas in Cancun and Puerto Vallarta, the roads would flood sometimes by more than a foot of water during any average storm and road signs few and far between. Parts of major highways in Cancun were free from any type of lighting for 10 mile stretches at a time. The conditions of the cars were just as bad as the highways, and it would not be uncommon to see cars with broken windows, no brakes, and no directional lighting (and if it were a taxi it’s likely that all of these features were conspicuously missing in the same car). Considering Mexico is right behind the US for obesity, the parking spots might be a little wider, too, compared to the generous 6 inches of space on each side of my car, for myself and my passenger to open our doors and exit from. God bless the spacious parking of the USA!
Yes, the water's beautiful, but whatcha gonna do when you've finished swimming?

Yes, the water’s beautiful, but whatcha gonna do when you’ve finished swimming?

More to come soon! If you have ever lived in another country or would like to know about what it was like to live in one or if you have any particular travel Q’s, please let me know in the comments and I’d be happy to answer your question through stories! Thanks for reading.

7 things you should NOT pack for long-term travel

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21 days to go and I’m already packed. I am ready to get out of here! Winter wonderland though it may be, cabin fever hits hard in less than 24 hours. Besides, although I’m making efforts to be productive (we may have a different version of what that word means), I feel like I am just trying to make the time pass more quickly.

Isn't it magical?

Isn’t it magical?

To make the time pass faster I’ve been browsing through some blogs, where, shocker, I’ve come across the ubiquitous “what to pack” list filed away under travel tips. I’m gonna do you one better and tell you what NOT to pack when you’re traveling, and better yet, I’m going to talk about personal effects and equipment AND the mental baggage that you should make sure to leave at home (see what I did there?).

This is a general list and it’s going to depend on your circumstances, but since I’m a single gal traveling, you can bet that it’s going to be pertinent to at least this glorious and savvy demographic, if I do say so myself.

Let’s start with the obvious, your physical luggage. Do not bring…

  1. Too many clothes. We’re all guilty of this. Whether you’re going away for a short trip or a long trip, try and pare down your wardrobe so that you don’t exceed any weight limits–for the plane or for own back. Black, white and neutrals are almost always appropriate for any time of the day, with a splash of color in the form of a scarf, t-shirt or an occasional accessory. Stick with comfortable, more conservative basics that you can layer easily and mix and match. Go for comfort with shoes for the activity you’re going for. Note that this recommendation might go completely out the window if you’re packing for a long weekend trip and/or need to pack a variety of 6 inch heels for Las Vegas. Been there, done that.
  2. Too many electronics (and/or physical books)! We live in an age of data overload, and in my opinion gadget overload. If you’re not traveling for business, you can leave the laptop at home–actually, even if you are traveling for business, you likely can get all your e-mail and apps on your phone or a tablet. Laptops are bulky and just not that portable compared to other options that you probably already own or could access at a hotel business center, if you’re traveling for business. But aren’t you on vacation…? And unless you’re a pro photographer, you probably want to limit your recording equipment. Let’s be honest here, you’re probably just going to to use your smartphone anyway, but if you’re a klutz like me and would feel more comfortable toting a camera instead, go for a small digital camera. If you’re a bookworm, let’s not overlook the bulk of books. I’ll be the first one to agree that I prefer the patine of real book, I love the smell of the pages and the sound of the paper when you turn the pages, but for practicality, it pays to go digital and go with the least paper possible if you absolutely must bring a hard copy (travel guide, favorite novel or inspirational reading). It always depends where you’re going and what the activity is, but for long-term leisure travel, whether luxury or backpacking, a good general principle is to limit yourself in electronics to three big ticket items. Likely your phone is in the list, so you really have two more–think tablet, camera. Or camera plus big ass Bose headphones. And so on and so forth. And, don’t forget the chargers and converters if need be (whomp whomp). AND ALWAYS, ALWAYS keep your gadgets with you on your person when in transit (NOT IN CHECKED BAGGAGE!) and locked up somewhere safe when not in use. 
  3. Going to sound silly, but leave the food at home! One of the best parts of traveling is eating EVERYTHING (mostly). I won’t forget that I made this mistake with my mother, traveling to Japan, where we wanted to save on costs by bringing some snacks with us since we were under the impression that food costs would be astronomical. We brought a bunch of Cliff bars and granola bars with us–needless to say, we were GIVING them away only a few days into our trip, and couldn’t stop eating all the goodies around us no matter how hard we tried. I’ve also met some people (hi sis!) who survived in Mexico on only Snickers bars. Her girlfriends all got sick with food poisoning on that trip so I guess there’s a lesson in there somewhere–and while you SHOULD DEFINITELY pack for a Montezuma’s Revenge or Delhi Belly moment (to all you Brits), that shouldn’t deter you from trying something new and, hopefully, delicious.
  4. Excessive beauty tools, accessories and grooming goods–ok so I lumped a few categories together, potato po-tah-to–if it’s not something you would wear or use on a regular basis at home, or even for a night out at home, think again before taking it with you. Bringing your own make-shift salon with you, complete with blowdryer, curling iron and curlers? If you’re going that fancy, I think you’re better off splurging for a professional than schlepping that with you and still having to do all the work! Glitzy, glamorous jewelry? If you’re going to the Oscars, I say. Enough makeup to turn you into all of those girls I envy on Instagram? Girlfriend, start embracing your natural beauty, all your goods are going to get tossed around and melty on the road anyway… but seriously bring a little for yourself. Since men only have something like 4 or 5 tools anyway (unless they are from New Jersey, of course), this doesn’t apply to them too much.

    Nothing good came out of that rock around her neck.

    Nothing good came out of that rock around her neck.

Physical baggage, check. Now, onto your perceptions and attitudes, don’t take with you–

  1.  Preconceived notions that you are any better than the people or the country you are visiting! Especially if you are going from a country of privilege, Westernized nation, or developed nation, whatever jargon you prefer for it, to a less privileged nation. Don’t make the assumption that the people around you are idiots, as so many Americans people tend to do when they travel. Even going from one developed nation to another, you should be careful of criticizing the country you are in–you would be amazed at how patriotic you become when someone slams the politics of your country, whether you personally agree with it or not. You should treat people as you want to be treated, and it goes a long way. One precaution…
  2. Don’t leave your wits at home! When meeting people abroad, you don’t want to be entitled, but you don’t want people to walk all over you either. If you think I’m telling you that there are people out there who want to screw you over while you’re away from home, then you’re 100% right. Especially on WOO-WOO Spring Break(!) vacations, we feel immune on foreign soil. You shouldn’t be paranoid but you should follow the same reservations as you would when at home when dealing with strangers, and if you subscribe to the Julie philosophy of travel–no sex with anyone!   

    And from personal experience, your caution should extend to locals as well as expats–just because someone moved out of their home country doesn’t revoke the asshole card if such is their actions and personality towards you. In fact, there is a distinct possibility they chose to emigrate BECAUSE of asshole tendencies; while the cool expats left because of their coolness. Unfortunately, there is no litmus test; there is no asshole border control, either. 

    You feel wonderfully free when you’re traveling, and that’s one of the beautiful truths about going away in the first place, but just don’t be stupider than you would normally be. And if you would normally be really stupid and a risk taker, just try and take it down a notch.

  3. Last but not least, don’t pack an aggressive agenda. I’m not against making plans, but I believe that you have to budget some time for your trip to just roll along naturally, AND for hiccups along the way–missing your ferry, train, bus, whatever. Bad weather, unexpected travel companions (good or bad!). If you go on a trip with a precise military regimen, you might be so engrossed in keeping up with your schedule that you don’t really get a chance to “soak in” your environment and you cut off your chances of being surprised–hopefully for better and not worse. You should definitely budget time for your must-see’s and must-do’s, especially if that requires coordinating a booking in advance, but leave yourself a healthy buffer to enjoy the place at an enjoyable pace.

 

There are travel tips innumerable from here until the end of time, but for those who are just getting started on their journey, I hope that these can help you in your trip-planning as I keep them in mind for my own trip coming up, and that this is a little nudge in the right direction for those of you who are procrastinating hesitating about your own trip!

Creating Content with Personality and Avoiding the “Live, Laugh, Love” Trap

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This past Friday I had the opportunity to attend the New York Times travel show and boy am I glad I did! Not only is the family business a travel agency, but here I am trying to figure out the life I want to live while traveling and not working for the man. I got a lot of information on destinations & networking for the travel agency, but the most important part was sitting in on some travel media sessions–learning what’s going on in the fragmented world of travel journalism and how important social media is in reaching consumers (no one killed any brain cells coming up with that conclusion, myself included).

For the most part, the presenters were entertaining, a couple of them a little high-falootin’ with a lot of statistics and professor-speak about the trade, but then there were three–three muses, three wishes, three bears, three whatever-you-like–that gave me some perspective, and would inspire me with a go-out-and-get-‘er-done attitude (for at least the next 48 hours).

The first was a girl, one woman, who stood out above them all, a person from whom I’d stolen a moniker (totally by accident), and who fits the personality of said nickname just as much as I think I do – A Broad Abroad.

You see, for some reason I was missing the agenda and speaker bio for the event, so I just went along it since I knew that’s where I needed to be, anyway. She couldn’t show her presentation, but she had me at “I’m a Mac girl” (me too, me too!). She then had us (me, at least) forever with the challenge for each of us to become OUR OWN Influencer. She spoke with the audience as if she was conversing with a group of old friends. When she revealed her name, A Broad Abroad (and it’s a tumblr account- just like my A Broad Abroad is/was!), the heavens opened up over the Javitz Center and put a spotlight on her!

She spoke for maybe 20 minutes or so at one of the topics in travel media and then sat on the panel for some Q&A. She even talked about an excellent engagement program where Yahoo! Travel (and she’s the one in charge, people!) will be seeking out contributing content creators for the site. I was happy to listen at her and made a beeline to her spot when the session closed, propelled even faster by the 16 oz of green tea in my body, gave her my card, and showed her a nifty little screenshot from my e-mail that showed that my own account, A Broad Abroad, on tumblr, had celebrated its own 4-year anniversary a few months ago! The words just kind of poured out from there, and though she might not see me as bestie status just yet, I gained a lot from her about travel but more importantly, how to captivate an audience AND keep your voice. To paraphrase some of her closing comments, there is nothing worse than boring content with no point of view; it needs to have a title or topic that sucks you right in, and content should make you feel something: laugh, cry, get angry, but feel something.

The second, was when I spotted Mark Murphy chatting with some suits during the catered lunch. Now, I’d never met him before in person, but my mother (the travel agent) refers to him like they are BFF’s, so whenever I talk about my own travel project she always tells me, “YOU’VE GOT TO TALK TO MY FRIEND, MARK MURPHY!” I added him on LinkedIn a little while ago, and since I have one of his books, Travel Unscripted, I thought I should read that as some background before reaching out to him.

I have to say, I was a little hesitant to go up to him since he is one of few people in this industry who’ve “made it” and in any industry that profile might make them dismissive…? but I managed to insert myself into a conversation and meet another 3 or 4 people in the process of doing so! As for Mark, I was blown away by how down to Earth he really is, nice but straightforward. He indulged me with at least a good 20 minutes of his time, extremely generous for me being a virtual stranger! I didn’t get just a nugget of good advice, I got a gold mine–on branding, publication, the works. I really can’t say thanks enough.

The third good omen actually preceded the other two chronologically, and that belongs to Mr. Sree Srinivasan, linking to his Twitter account and rightfully so since he was the Tweet-Master that day. Very useful tactical advice for how to develop and deliver content. Really likable guy, only reinforcing the main message that I got from it: to be great in social media, you need to be great in real life. I gotta work on both!

So now you might be wondering, what the heck was she talking about with that “Live, Laugh, Love” trap?!

It may be partially that I’m a noob, but I find that in producing content I often struggle with two issues:

  • Wanting to seem proper and politically correct
  • Wanting to be likable by writing with an unchanging positive tone and wrapping up my stories with “happily ever after” endings

I call it the “Live, Laugh, Love” trap for obvious reasons. The common message between my three saints on that day is to “be yourself” and “be authentic“–in and of itself that could be a little cliche, but the results–stories, photos, etc., won’t just take on a human quality, they will be actually, really, vividly, human.

You don’t always need to have a picture perfect day where everything goes right and everything is on time and structured (that business is otherwise called PR…) I think that our lives are messier and more complicated, and infinitely more interesting because of it.

The same conflict going on in our personal lives and experiences is the exact some conflict that is a key ingredient in storytelling–no conflict, no story. That’s not to say that once in a while you really are dancing on a cloud with unadulterated enthusiasm! But, there’s only so many rainbows, cotton candy, unicorns and daisies that one can take before they start to tune out. Be relatable. And don’t be the boring friend (yes, we all have one).

I don’t have the heart to kill my darlings (first posts) just yet, but I expect that they will be tailored shortly and that from here on out, I am doing myself a favor and simply being Jetset Julie, with no apologies or excuses. Cue sassy photo once more for reinforcement.

We_Can_Do_It!

You Get What You Give

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Ok, so I don’t have any news to report on the progress of my New Year’s Resolution (unfortunately, one of my resolutions has never been about procrastination!). BUT, I have started to cultivate new friendships, online and offline, and I’m pleasantly pleased with the potential for each of them. Even though I haven’t pressed into my current social media friends or connections, at the end of the day, the point of this is to come away with more quality friends after all, isn’t it?

Online, I’ve interacted with my local community in a dedicated Facebook group, asking questions and answering questions, especially when it fell into my expertise of travel, and even more into my niche of all-inclusive travel in Mexico and the Caribbean. I didn’t live there for nothin’!

Also, as the days tick closer to my Asian Extravaganza (arriving in Singapore just in time for the Chinese New Year!), I have been looking for some people to host me on Couchsurfing, and it is so heartwarming to be welcomed into a stranger’s house, for no reason other than an act of kindness and good will. Well, actually, the dark side is that there are some creepers whom I’ve connected with, and our conversation part deux begins with “so why don’t you have anymore pics on your profile?” -.-  I’m not really interested in those kinds of meet ups.

OH! And also, a friend of a friend of my sister is offering to host me in Singy for my few days in town whilst I acclimate… offering me my own separate guest room and bathroom… an iMac (!!!)… and even a driver to pick me up at the airport in the middle of the night, after crossing half the world and traveling forward in time one, no, two days! She also seems like a lovely lady who will adventure around the island with me and be my lunch date, at least. So, *I* feel like THIS:

Now, offline is where things are a bit more interesting.

And again I have to credit the Couchsurfing community, since I’ll be meeting a bunch of them starting in just about six weeks.

The other day, I went to the library to relax and read through some of my SE Asia guidebooks–sometimes I like the patine of turning pages. After about an hour, someone tapped me on the shoulder from a neighboring table and asked me if I was, indeed going to Thailand? I smiled and said yes, whereby she told me that I am going to LOVE it! I mentioned I had been there for a couple of days, and we swapped some travel stories – and I’m realizing more and more that the secret keyword that not many people know of IS, in fact, “travel” (seriously, try using it as an icebreaker and see how far it goes). She was one half of a lovely older, retired couple that has visited about 40 countries (and counting), including some more extended tours into Asia, which is really a region that I am more passionate about, more on that in other postings. We exchanged e-mails and I told her that I hope to keep in touch.

Still, I met another person I’m interested in getting to know this week, while setting up an international, fee-free ATM card (yes, such a miracle exists, check it out at Charles Schwab). Something I really should have done YEARS ago to be totally honest. We met coincidentally, and I found out she is fairly new to the area and looking to make friends, and has quite an interesting history of travel and emigration herself. I love it and am looking forward to befriending a fellow nomad in this world, where sincerity and integrity are the stuff that long-lasting, long-distance friendships are made of.

And last, but certainly not least, I am elated that “Tales of a Female Nomad” author Rita Golden Gelman wrote back to me, in just under 24 hours, to my fan letter thanking her for publishing such a beautiful memoir. I would wager that if you enjoyed reading Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, this one would easily please you just as much. (Let me make a quick book review aside here, I find that Tales of a Female Nomad is more episodic, in that she catalogues her visits and experiences across several different countries, achieving something new in each country. While Eat, Pray, Love, does this as well, I think of that particular memoir as more of a three act play in how it is sewn together. Both were phenomenal and worth a read, in my opinion).

The point being – no, I haven’t advanced on what I’ve promised so far regarding reaching out to Facebook and LinkedIn people (yet), but yes, I have been cultivating more friendships as I move along. 

The Resolution Worth Keeping

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Ping! The familiar notification from Facebook Messenger alerted me to a new message, a simple “Happy New Year!” from a friend in Mauritius, whom I’d met incidentally on a trip to Japan more than two years ago.

We haven’t seen each other since we met, and yet we’ve managed somehow to stay in touch and stay current with each other’s life events. And then it hit me all at once, what I should really resolve to do this year that would be meaningful to me and different from the last years’ half-hearted declarations. I even made a (rather witty, in my opinion) Facebook post about it! And I certainly don’t think I need any bad karma or credibility issues from the all-knowing, all-seeing internet Gods, so here it is: what if, instead of just beefing up my personal network and brand via social media, I took all of my “friends”, “followers”, and “contacts”, and actually built a real, personal, relationship with each of them, or at the very least attempted to?

In other words: Hi, I’m Julie and I like warm hugs!

I realize I’m the one who’s going to have to seduce my friends to, you know, talk to me… And while it’s a small gesture, I think it’s a pretty decent goal. A S.M.A.R.T goal if you will (that’s Smart, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timely – said every modern business book ever). So here’s the fine print.

  • Who’s involved? For now, I am targeting my Facebook buddies, LinkedIn contacts AND OF COURSE, EVERYONE WHO CORRESPONDS WITH ME HERE ON MY BLOG! since these networks involve direct relationships and identities, as opposed to Twitter and Instagram, which focus mostly on producing content and material.
  • What am I talking about? Transform social media friends into social media friends. And since we don’t live in a world of rainbows and lollipops (although that sounds delicious), it may ultimately lead to–nay, it SHOULD lead to–cutting out some dead weight in my life. You know the types. And believe me so do I–should make for interesting fodder for later…
  • Where? On the Internetz. Or should a live opportunity present itself, I wouldn’t say no to seeing an old friend.
  • When? 364 days remaining, or a churn of 3.7 people per day. If this little experiment works out, maybe it’s something that I could carry over on a rolling basis.
  • How? Let the message fit the medium–a quick, personalized note if ever and whenever possible, informing the recipient of my project and with some fun questions to get the conversation rolling. “Fun” is rather subjective, but I think I will omit such goodies like what is your favorite sexual position… for now. 
  • Why? Because this.

Also, I’m sick of creeping on your profile in private! Let me in, or let me out. I’m sure there’s much more to you than 142.3 GB worth of media of your children spitting up/hitting each other/pissing off the family dog. I bet you’re a far better person than all of your shared pop quizzes and personality assessments would otherwise indicate. You are more than the sum of your buzzfeed parts.

And, like the protagonist of this video, I think my life would be better with better friendships. It’s important to remember that it’s not about quantity, it’s about quality. In keeping this resolution, I will consider myself successful it it produces even one stronger friendship than before, or removes (or heals!) even one toxic connection from my past.

Any advice for me?

It’s almost 2015… tick tock, tick tock

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2014 has been a pretty unpredictable year for me with some definite highs and lows. I’m really looking forward to 2015 as a way of starting over with an exciting and experimental year, where the only one who calls the shots in my life is me (and fate) and I can enjoy myself outside of an identity forged by a career descriptor. SPOILER ALERT — I’m going backpacking in Asia!

I hope to accomplish more in this one year; that I am more driven and with more guts and conviction than I have ever had in my life. To whittle down my bucket list (note to self, make bucket list, and learn how to use other text formats besides italics and bold), since everyone knows that when you turn 30, inevitably, you melt. I’m just here trying to outrun the storm!

Looking forward to sharing my moments with the blogosphere — before I melt. Happy New Year!